The Weekly Optimist Newsletter: Self-Talk
Quotes of the Week from Me:
“Tell yourself, ‘Wake up. Get up.’”
“Be careful when comparing yourself to others. Another option is to avoid such comparisons altogether.”
Quote of the Week from Someone Else:
“Waste no more time arguing what a good [person] should be. Be one.” – Marcus Aurelius
Quick Optimism I
Happy Memorial Day! Originally recognized as “Decoration Day”, let’s remember that today is about honoring those in the U.S. military who gave the ultimate sacrifice in service to their country.
Take a moment to mourn and remember.
Take a moment to read some military history.
Take a moment to enjoy another day of freedom.
Quick Optimism II
This story struck me in several ways. Be careful when comparing yourself to others. Another option is to avoid such comparisons altogether.
An Elephant and A Dog
By: Charles Kobina GyanQuarme Junior
An elephant and a dog became pregnant at the same time. Three months down the line the dog gave birth to six puppies.
Six months later the dog was pregnant again – and nine months on the dog gave birth to another dozen puppies. The pattern continued.
On the eighteenth month the dog approached the elephant questioning- “Are you sure you’re pregnant? We became pregnant on the same date; I have given birth three times to a dozen puppies, and they have grown to become big dogs, yet you are still pregnant. What’s going on?”
The elephant replied – “There is something I want you to understand. What I am carrying is not a puppy, but an elephant. I only give birth to one in two years.
When my baby hits the ground – the earth feels it.
When my baby crosses the road – human beings stop and watch in admiration.
What I carry draws attention, so what I’m carrying is mighty and great!”
Full Newsletter
Self-talk. Self-thought.
The other day I found myself very reluctant to get out of bed. It happens. It will happen again. My first thought was, “I am warm and comfy, just need 5 minutes.” My second thought was, “Gotta get up.” I ended up whispering to myself, “Wake up. Get up.”
The other day I also found myself cleaning up roughly 35 toys that had been sprawled out across the living room. It sounds like a party, but it was just a typical week night for my toddler. My only thought was, “Alright, here we go.” I didn’t end up saying anything aloud, but I remember releasing a gruff moan as I bent down for the 35th time.
The other, other day I found myself slow dancing in a burning room. John Mayer, anyone? His song, Slow Dancing in a Burning Room is one of my favorites. The title reminds me of the feeling of hard work while working out. It can be heavy weight, sprinting, high reps, running for distance. Anything that tests you, gets your heart pumping, anything that makes you breath hard and fast.
Consider sprints, for example. The rest between sprints hardly feels like relief. Time is warped. A 30-sprint feels like 5 minutes. The minute-long rest feels like seconds.
Your breath, heart, and mind are all racing. Regardless of the number of sprints you do, it is obvious when you are only halfway done. You know you have to continue dancing; you have to complete the choreography. But everything is on fire. Burning. Then you go again. I definitely said this one out loud after a full-effort haul up a steep hill: “Holy hell.” Then the taps of my feet on the pavement followed.
I have had self-talk moments like these many times as a student-athlete, as an employee, as a parent, and in general. For those who feel a bit crazy, you aren’t. Sometimes you might think to yourself, “Did I really just talk to myself?”
Self-talk is a common practice, and it may provide several benefits you have not considered previously. The extensive history of self-talk research shows us that there is a recognizable impact on performance and the various categories of self-talk help or hurt us significantly.
The research is clear. Self-talk can be:
- Instructional
- Motivational
- Negative
- Moment-by-moment
- Situational (think sports performance)
As I reflect on Memorial Day, history, and the ways we go about our weeks, I have come to the realization that self-talk should be used positively. The goal, in my opinion, is wellness and self-optimization. It is almost a negotiation with yourself. Who are you now and who do you want to become? The other day I was sleepy and cozy, but I wanted to become someone who started their day with a workout. I was also a bit tired of cleaning up toys but I wanted to become a parent who put in 5 minutes of effort while Beckett continued to play. Lastly, as I was out of breath and already benefiting from 2 or 3 sprints, I wanted to become someone who benefited from 10 sprints.
The act of speaking to ourselves is not a requirement but a potential reminder and promise to become what we are not. We may strive to be different than our current state daily and beyond in both minor and major ways. Self-talk may help us formulate and cope with difficulties. Most likely personal difficulties, but it could also change our world, the world, entirely. Our dialogue between our current and potential selves can make change a reality. Make it change for good and for progress. What changes do you think are possible? How about impossible?
Make it a wonderful Monday on this Memorial Day!