One of my current job responsibilities includes traveling to colleges and universities to meet with students about the program offerings at Dartmouth College. One of my favorite conversations always starts with, “What is your biggest dream?” or “What do you want to accomplish?”

Students talk about consulting, investment banking, and starting their own businesses. Some want to be professors or work in the medical or technology fields. These answers are great in their own way. These industries are associated with high income potential, great networking opportunities, and skill development that is hard to beat professionally. But then I push more and try to make students dig deeper.

“Let me rephrase.” I say. “Who are you on the weekend? What can you tell me about yourself that isn’t on your resume?”

Favorite answers so far:
1. I race formula 2 race cars
2. I performed my own piece on piano in front of an audience of thousands in China
3. My work won 2nd place in a national wood working competition
4. I compete in big air scootering (shows me a video of a backflip on a scooter over a 20-foot gap)
5. I played for Thailand’s national football (soccer) team

When I break down the importance of showcasing all of a student’s talents, I hope they understand that these passions and skills are relevant to the jobs they want and the companies they want to start because it makes them who they are and demonstrates their commitment to performing at a high level across several categories of expertise. Also, it is likely they have dedicated many years to the list above or other interests so it is important to acknowledge them as they pursue a career path. 

A lot of these skills and stories slip through the cracks in conversations and on applications. Students often think that employers are only looking for a list of specific credentials and nothing more. The credentials become hair clips. Story time.

I attended the University of Rochester from 2013-2017, where I studied History and English and played baseball for the Yellowjackets. I worked hard enough to be a B+/A- student, but in classes I enjoyed, I earned an A. Creative Writing, Feature Writing, and Public Speaking were all examples of subjects that do not have one answer on their assignments. Kind of like this newsletter I write each week. I get to run wild on every page. That’s where I thrive.

In 2015, I had to take some classes that fulfilled requirements outside the typical topics I learned for my major. I earned a 2.25 GPA for the semester and dropped below a 3.0 cumulative GPA for the first time in my life. I also had a terrible baseball season, but that is story for another time.

During that spring, I signed up for a class called the Culture of Zen. I was excited at first. Then I showed up to class and sat through two hours of the professor scrolling through Wikipedia. “See the blue links?” he would ask. “Those take you to different pages.Search things like ‘Buddhism’ and ‘Zen’ and then click all of the links for the reading for next class.” I am paraphrasing but you can understand how incredibly engaging it was. I quickly checked out. I could have worked harder but it felt like a joke. After a couple classes I realized we would be scrolling Wikipedia all semester so I ended up “having practice” during class a few extra times. I failed both exams and never received requested feedback. I never got email responses from the professor. I somehow got a C in the class. There is a lot of room for taking responsibility here. I should have been more committed, but I am still convinced the class lectures were a joke.

Remember the hair clip reference? Time to tie it all together. In one of the classes I did go to that semester, we clicked the right combination of blue links on Wikipedia to stumble across the story of a poor girl who lived in a small town. No time periods, no geographic locations. But it had an incredible message.

The young girl had lost her father and she and her mother depended on each other for everything. She suffered from severe feelings of inferiority because she had never been able to buy nice clothes or fancy trinkets to wear.

Finally, when she was 18, her mother handed her a purse full of enough money to buy herself a present for Christmas. It was the first time she ever got to go shopping for non-essentials. Such a treat was beyond her wildest dreams but she was not confident enough to be seen walking around in public.

She went to the market walking with her head down. She ducked and weaved to avoid the crowds not wanting to be seen. As she walked, she saw many people that had better lives than her and her mother. She lamented to herself: I can’t hold my head up here, I am the shabbiest girl in this town.

Then she saw the young man she had always secretly admired.She wondered who his partner would be at the dance that night, but knew it would never be her. Then she reached the shop. When she went inside she immediately noticed how beautiful all of the clothes and jewelry were. The pretty hair decorations caught her eye first.

While she stood there in a daze, the shop assistant said, “What lovely golden hair you have! Try a pale blue flower to go with it. You will look beautiful.”

The girl saw the price. It would cost her almost all of the money her mom gave her. She decided she couldn’t afford it but the shop assistant had already fastened it into her hair.

When the poor girl saw herself in the mirror with the new hair clip, she was amazed. Her faced glowed, looking healthy and beautiful. She immediately took out all of her money, bought the hair clip, took her change, and rushed outside to be seen by others. On the way out the door, she bumped into an old man. Too excited to apologize or slow down, she turned and ran toward the main street.

She noticed everyone suddenly glancing in her direction. They looked surprised. One stranger said, “I never knew there was such a pretty girl in this town. Whose daughter is she?” Then the girl ran into the boy she secretly liked. He asked her to stop, his eyes wide. “Will you be my partner at the dance tonight?” he asked.

The girl was overcome with extreme feelings of joy. She agreed and decided to run back to the shop to pick out another beautiful wardrobe piece with the money she had left. She had to look amazing.

When she returned to the store she found the old man that she had bumped into. He looked at her and smiled, saying, “I hoped you’d comeback! When we bumped into each other, your hair clip fell off. I waited here incase you came looking for it.”

The hair clip was not the magical thing that made her beautiful. It had not solved the problems in her life. Her newfound self-confidence is what made all the difference.

Credentials, nice material things, and attention from other people are not what make us who we are. They hold some value and can make us feel better about certain things. Enjoy working hard toward accomplishments, enjoy buying yourself and others presents sometimes, but understand that your confidence and self-worth comes from who you believe you are and how you treat yourself and other people.

I will stop here for the week for the sake of email length. I really enjoyed writing the newsletter this week. I learned a lot and hope you did too.

Happy Monday!