Monday, September 26, 2022

Human beings are drawn to their external surroundings. We want to know how other people think. We want to know how machines and objects work. We want to see new places, attend exciting events, and acquire external accolades often associated with accomplishment and status. We also want to know how we are affected by our external world. What I keep coming back to in life is that people want to figure themselves out. They want to define their purpose, as if knowing it will make it easier to pursue. It is one of the hardest things to define as it is ever-changing, making it extremely hard to do. It’s why most of us end our time on this planet with a lot of unanswered questions.

The contradictory side of defining our purpose is that we get very caught up in what is happening around us. We tend to focus on other people and what they have going on. We jump from new book to new technology and from new workout routine to new diet plan. When combined with the desire for instant gratification, we rarely see results. So where is our inner self hiding? Where can we unlock a true connection with our purpose?

I think our external exploration allows us to learn through trial and error. It would be very difficult to learn about ourselves without exposure to new ideas. Is it possible to consider new ideas while also avoiding too much influence?

When we form new relationships or try a new diet, we are exploring new interactions or new types of nutrition. The new person we met came from outside ourselves and our typical social circle. It takes time to exchange earned trust and let people into our internal emotions and feelings. The new food from our new diet converts previously external flavors, feelings, and ways of thinking about what we eat into internal ones. Meeting new people grants us access to new information about places and cultures. Eating new food grants us access to new health benefits and recipes. But very rarely is it possible to ignore how this affects us. Very rarely do we consider other people or experiences for what they are individually. We want to know how these things fit into who we are and the lives we live, which can influence the actions we take.

It’s not to say we are all narcissistic or craving a refreshed identity, but eventually we just want to know the impact that our decisions and experiences have on our life. So why do we keep looking outward for answers? Naturally, I think it would make sense to do the opposite.

The hesitation to turn inward usually comes from fear of failure. Failure is inevitable. It is one of the few constants in our lives as humans. We are introduced to failure in many ways and the only thing we can control is our reaction to it. Control the controllable, forget the rest, and go get the next opportunity and make the most of it.

This website focuses on career, parenting, and life lessons but a lot of articles could be listed under all three. Some topics are broad like today’s newsletter, but broad topics stir up important questions and lead to self-improvement. What steps are you taking to find your purpose? What are you willing to do to find it? Find 3 tips and 3 things I have done below that have helped me pursue purpose and fulfillment in my career and life.

3 Tips

1. Keep an open mind aka try new things. I never liked running. There was usually a time limit set by a coach, trainer, or myself. Now I get to decide how hard or soft I run. It’s a lot more fun.

2. Find a supportive community. Taylor and I were just confirmed into the Methodist Church as part of our son, Beckett’s, baptism. I was raised Catholic. It’s okay to find incredible communities in multiple/changing places. It doesn’t have to be religious, but make sure you become part of something bigger than you.

3. Do not rush/take breaks. There is no pressure to find purpose, fulfillment, or the discipline to consistently pursue either. Give yourself the time and patience that you need.

3 Things I Have Done

1. Volunteer my time to gain experience: community service started as a graduation requirement at my high school. Then I volunteered as a baseball coach and advisory club member in college. Eventually I used the volunteer approach in the athletic department where I ended up getting a full-time job in 2018. People will always utilize free labor.

2. Do something you think you dislike. I started reading a few pages of a book before bed every night. I haven’t liked reading since I can remember. It could have been because I was reading for assignments and the material was chosen for me. Now that it’s a habit before bed, sometimes I will read 70 pages, sometimes 3. Either way I learn more and enjoy how calming it is before I go to sleep.

3. Write a short story about what matters to you most. Read it out loud for a few days in a row. Think about it. Act on it in the short and long term.