Quote of the week from me: Any basketball fans?

“Sometimes a perfect pass still leads to a jammed finger. It’s your job to score anyway.”

Like playing through a minor, mid-game injury, life is full of adversity. It comes in all forms of inconvenience and the challenges present themselves from both positive and negative circumstances.

You get promoted. You get fired. You get an A. You get an F. You begin a new relationship. You get dumped.

How does each example impact your schedule, your health, or your priorities? There are too many factors that happen over too much time to truly know the answer. That is why we typically explore these experiences simultaneously.

They have an impact on each other.

Of course, we face things that are way more important and a lot more difficult than this list. But for the sake of committing to practical, everyday optimism I find it helpful to consider the small problems that seem to fuse together and grow into bigger ones.

Anonymous seems to be one of the most brilliant philosophers, politicians, poets, etc. Yet another anonymous metaphor to start your Monday right:

“So, you have $86,400 in your account and someone stole $10 from you.

Would you be upset and throw all of the $86,390 away in hopes of getting back at the person that took your $10? Or move on and live? Right, move on and live.

See, we have 86,400 seconds in every day so don’t let 10 negative seconds ruin the rest of the 86,390. Life is bigger than that.”

– Anonymous

It is important to push forward through the confusion or difficulties to ensure our quality of life is not dependent upon one measurement of success or satisfaction, or failure or disappointment. If one inconvenience tips the rest of the scale, we quickly find ourselves nose diving toward frustration and negativity.

Controversial Optimism in Everyday Life

On this fine Monday in the middle of March I find myself writing to you surrounded by nearly two feet of snow. We were expecting 2-3 inches and ended up with almost 20. Nobody was prepared. I shoveled the driveway 3 separate times. I wasn’t able to go on my typical trash and recycling run. Thankfully I had gone to the grocery store for the week so we had plenty of food, and really good snacks. Really, really good snacks.

In the midst of the subdued chaos, I found my wife and I on opposite ends of optimism. Not pessimism, different versions of optimism. Taylor and I often compare how our minds work. Hers is often fast, unfiltered, and great at multitasking. Mine is slower, contemplative, and great at breaking down one topic at a time. Our mental instincts are similar in that we work hard and focus well, but certain situations bring out very different patterns of thought and action.

For example, when Taylor wakes up her mind is already racing, her daily routine often reliant on how many tasks she can complete within the important routine of our almost 2-year old. When I wake up my mind is quiet. I drink water. I read. I exercise. Some of this can be attributed to our roles as parents, some to the time we wake up, or what we think about as our main priorities.

We have found a lot of success in staggering our mornings. I wake up around 4:30am to spend some time alone. Taylor typically wakes up around 6:30am when I am done my morning routine. Then I get to hang out with Beckett while Taylor exercises and the day continues. However, on mornings when I procrastinate or Beckett wakes up at 5am, there is an interesting mix of fast and slow thinking, multitasking and compartmentalizing, and a collection of inconveniences.

“This is a shit show,” Taylor said this past week.

It was probably 7am. Everyone was awake and as Taylor swung open the door to our pantry, she found our recycling basket overflowing with several days of plastic, cans, and boxes.

“It’s not that bad,” I responded, as I closed the door to prove that it was out of sight and not an issue.

In my mind, Taylor needed to focus on her workout first. I recommended ignoring the recycling issue until later. In her mind, she was probably trying to figure out when she would fit that errand into the zero minutes of free time she had that day. 

Regardless of who ended up doing the errand, both of our approaches are versions of optimism. The “shit show” motivated Taylor to find an instant solution to avoid inconvenience later in the day. It “not being that bad” allowed me to delay the errand while accomplishing other, arguably more important tasks in my day.

People and couples need both. Act now, act later. Act on this now and on that later. As long as you or your team is working on moving forward and making progress, there is room for an optimistic attitude about a positive outcome.